Back in September I received a birthday card with the image above on the front ("Scatter joy") and inside it simply says: “and may it all come back to you.” It seems à propos to share it now. As we enter the holiday season in many countries while also feeling concern about our political dramas and where they might lead, it is easy to feel anxious. What is going to happen? What does it all mean for our democracy? And how can we avoid political polarization at our dinner table?

In early October, Van Jones’ team at CNN contacted Braver Angels (formerly known as Better Angels), a national non-profit organization committed to reducing political polarization; Van Jones wanted to observe and film a Braver Angels workshop for The Van Jones Show.

We experience life in relationship — with other people, animals, nature, and for some, God. All of these relationships define our lives. They are a gift from which we find comfort, a burden from which we feel pain, or something in-between.

…instead, let's understand our differences. A dearth of empathy is not what ails us, as many claim. What is tripping us up is our belief that we are empathic while others are not. In reality, we are all selectively empathic.

In everything I write and talk about, I return over and over to a core concept: that curiosity and humility have incredible power to transform relationships, which in turn open up new possibilities for collaboration and creative problem-solving.

Confirmation bias is a well-known phenomenon: we have a tendency to seek out information that supports our pre-existing views and to discount that which does not. A new research paper adds even more insight into how fickle our brains are. Thomas Kelly, at Princeton University, writes about belief polarization and points out that the timing of when we learn something matters.

What if we took a softer approach—towards ourselves and others? What would that look like? What might happen as a result?

In the public sphere, much is being said about impact vs. intent. “If the impact of what you said or did makes me uncomfortable or offended or stressed, then you are at fault and your intent is irrelevant.” Impact is being touted as the only thing that matters. But there is little logic in many of these affirmations; only scolding.

I shared the Easter sunrise with my mother on Sunday. She died in 2011, but she was present when I went down to the lake. I was overcome by emotion—not because of her presence, which was sweet and quiet, but by the simple beauty of a sunrise over Lake Michigan. It never fails to move me.

I created the 50-40-10 Guideline as a rule of thumb, based on experience and practice. Approximately 50% of communication takes place through body language, 40% through tone of voice, and 10% is expressed in the words themselves. While this rule of thumb is not rooted in scientific research, it is nevertheless a helpful guide for managing interactions effectively.

Anger seems to be all the rage these days (pun intended!), with many people in full-throated celebration of it. Rage and disdain have become acceptable expressions of anger. But are they effective?

Much is being said these days about populism: the championing of the common man in opposition to the established elite. Some view its growth around the world with alarm, while others see it as a necessary check on entrenched politics.

Happy New Year! I hope that 2019 is full of interesting and meaningful connections for us all. As you commit to some new resolutions, may I suggest a simple one? Ask more questions this year. Ask questions of yourself and of others, with gentleness and openness.

At this time of year (December), some people get anxious about the proper way to greet others. “Should I say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas or what?” The best way to make it a non-issue is to speak from the heart. It’s not about what you say but how you say it.

Who is undermining the society we so cherish? The far left? The far right? Trump? The media? The internet? George Soros? The Koch Brothers? The list is endless, and everyone reading this post has someone or some group in mind (including me).

Many people think that good communication refers to how we speak. In fact, the quality of a conversation pivots on how we listen. Listening attentively is not enough. We also need to consider how we interpret what we hear.

Francesco Magnocavallo is the Digital Editorial Director of Hearst Magazines Italia, based in Milan, and awhile back he stumbled upon our website for People Beyond Politics.™ He and I began a conversation that resulted in an article he wrote and published in the Italian edition of Elle magazine. (Both the Italian and English versions are available in the link below.)

Seek the truth, speak the truth, and be open to hearing the truth. This is an essential pillar of democracy—and of relationships in general.

“I don’t recognize the country that I love.” I have heard this statement many times, from people on the left and the right, and I certainly feel it myself. Granted, we all have different reasons for this sentiment, but it does lead one to ask: What are we going to do about it?

Some think that People Beyond Politics™ (PBP) is about politics. It’s not. It is about people and how we understand each other when we have different perspectives. Only when we know how to explore each other’s frame of reference and context can we discuss politics (or any topic) in a meaningful way.